Nursing Blues
I'm sick of it. In fact, I'm getting to the point where more times than not I actually strongly dislike nursing. I'm up all night every night and, except for the period of time right before our vacation, I have been since the day The Daughter was born. Every afternoon I have to spend two hours with her nursing constantly to the point that my nipples feel like they are going to fall off and I can't take it anymore. If I try to put her down, she's up in 10 minutes. I, quite frankly, am sick of being responsible for getting and keeping The Daughter asleep. I don't think this is normal and I don't think it is healthy for either of us. I do think it is habit and I do think I created it.
Even when it comes to nursing outside of sleeping, she doesn't nurse anymore where she isn't moving all around, taking my nipple with her. Up down, up down, back and forth. If I try to set limits, she just screams bloody freaking murder until I allow her to nurse. If I try to say she can only nurse while laying down or sitting up but not moving around, she does the same.
I am just sick of it today. I was reading "How Weaning Happens" and it talked about how babies her age develop other interests and being to nurse less... yea, they haven't met my child.
Comments
Julie, I agree with you that there are some kids who just don't fit the mold. I have BTDT with the situation you described with your daughter, and weaning was ultimately a huge relief for both of us. She was frustrated with limits, and once I made the unamibiguous statement that we were done with nursies things were much better.
She still struggles at times with eating and sleep issues, but NOTHING like it was before.
My son, who is seven months old, is blowing my mind and I finally realized it's because he is nursing along *normal* patterns! I am interested to see how our nursing relationship progresses as he enters toddlerhood. I wonder if it will last longer than Gretchen's because it will ultimately be less all-consuming than nursing her was?
All I can say is that doing what is best for our children doesn't always mean following the unwritten rule that mother-led weaning is cruel and wrong.
{{Julie}} Hope you get some sleep soon.
Posted by: Kari | October 29, 2002 9:18 AM
Hi Julie,
Orion was a little like Seren, in if he slept with me, he could easily sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon. If lay him down by himself, he would be awake hour an hour to the second from the moment he fell asleep (I timed him a number of times). This might be 10 or 20 minutes after I lay him, it made no difference, he always woke after that half hour sleep cycle ended.
I ended up choosing to take those 10 - 20 minutes for myself and found that the night times were genrally better this way. If I let him sleep for too long with me, in a way keeping him asleep artificially rather than what his body allowed for the time, then trying to get him asleep at night would be really hard.
The real difference came when he was older and he started having BarleyGreen. It was like his body was missing something that would allow him to sleep deeply enough not to wake constantly at night. The effect of the BarleyGreen was instantaneous enough to know that it made the difference.
Neo, otoh is really different. He's never slept well with me, especially if I'm touching him. It could just be his foot or his arm touching me and that will keep him from falling deeply asleep. I worked out early on that he needed his own space in our queen sized bed, which meant that DH can't sleep with us, other both Neo and me don't sleep. So I can nurse him to sleep, but to actually allow him to sleep I have to move away from him. When he's having trouble falling asleep nursing, I have to try detaching him asap and even offer him water, just in case it's thirst.
When he's going through periods of teething (like now), the only way I can lie him down for his naps is to first wrap him in a blanket and then lie him in his cot with the blanket. If it's hot, I'll unwrap him - it's the shock of contact with the cot that wakes him, the blanket seems to prevent that.
The other thing I've found with him is that my thoughts, if I'm near him can upset him enough to wake him. I've had to be really, really careful with my thoughts when near him while he's asleep, otherwise I'll wake him. I'm taking about strong, negative thoughts, even if they are nothing to do with him... he picks them up. I've also had him wake me from bad dreams because my dreams sometimes upset him.
I hope some of this is helpful to you. I know that I'm find this stage of todderhood in Neo so intense, that the nights he doesn't sleep well drive me insane. When he's teething, all my normal efforts to help him sleep and even BarelyGreen seem to do nothing at all.
Posted by: Lucyna | October 29, 2002 5:18 PM
Should have proof read .. that was supposed to be HALF an hour for Orion waking from the moment of falling asleep in the first paragraph. Sorryy about the other gramatical errors, been trying to write this all morning and have been constantly interrupted by one or both of the kids. Hope it made sense.
Posted by: Lucyna | October 29, 2002 5:22 PM
Julie, I know I'm a few days late here, but I'm just wondering what you would do differently if you had it to do over.
I know my baby is so young and I'm not thinking about doing anything other than nursing on demand right now, but he does not go to sleep without nursing and I wonder if/when I ought to start thinking about helping him develop other habits, and if so, how.
Posted by: kayla | October 30, 2002 5:51 PM