ve thought about this a lot...and I don't know if there's anything I'd want to know. If I think of the "shockers" - his chronic health disorder, his infidelities I dn't think I would have realized that *I'd* have the strength to work through them, or that we'd survive them and grow from them.

Hmmmm....maybe I'd want to know the path his illness took so that we wouldn't have lost that year and a half of our lives to it in the same way.

Maybe I'd want to really *understand* how "safe" he plays things and why, so I'd have been better prepared for the disagreements where this plays out. It took us a good 10 years to find a place where we both felt heard around these issues without judgement or anger.

Interesting question...

I love your questions...

The more I think on this, the more I believe that I would rather have known more about myself than him before our marriage. I wish I had known how I would feel in the bonds of matrimony, and perhaps that might have saved us all a lot of pain. I think Hugh is the same person he was when I married him, and I don't know that I've learned anything new about him. But I've certainly learned a lot about me.

Tanya, I do think we were separated at birth!!!!!!!!!

I'd want to know how BOTH of us would respond to having a child. My reaction was a surprise, too, but I might have thought that he'd go along with my beliefs. Instead, he thinks I've been brainwashed by all you internet people. LOL!

I wish I would've known/been able to believe how really trustworthy he is. There were years when I tortured both of us because of my groundless paranoia. But then, I think one of the big reasons we're together is so that I could go through this long process of learning to trust.

I wish I had known the depth of his selfishness. And the depth of my strength.

Oh Bonny.

Your answer is mine too.

(& Tanya's too......)

Not very individual am I? LOL