Today I feel like a normal human being. It is the first time since The Daughter's birth that I can remember treading through my day without feeling that fuzzy, haven't slept feeling in my head. 6 hours of sleep last night, I'm sure I haven't made a dent in my sleep debt but just for today I'm relishing feeling clear headed.

Then I read this in Natural Jewish Parenting (which, by the way, is a phenomenal read even if you aren't Jewish, which I'm not):

Night Shift Risk. Working at night - or being exposed to light at night for other reasons, such as insomnia [or perhaps nursing all night long] - may increase a woman's risk for developing breast cancer, according to a new Harvard Medical School study. Researchers suggest that nighttime exposure to light may elevate breast cancer risk by suppressing production of melatonin, a brain hormone that is made during darkness and that normally peaks at night. When normal melatonin cycles are interrupted, estrogen production rises, which stimulates growth of breast tissue. In the study, women's breast cancer risk increased 14% for each night [emphasis mine] of the week that they reported not sleeping during the period of the night when levels of melatonin are typically at their highest. Night-shift work is also associated with an increased risk for heart disease, digestive track disorders, and pregnancy complications. Interestingly, blind women, whose melatonin production does not drop upon exposure to light, have lower breast cancer rates than sighted women. Journal of the National Cancer Institute

Great, so, let's get this straight, I was up every hour for 15 months straight and am still up a few times a night more nights of the week than not (though thankfully, we do have some sleep throughs)... can we even CALCUALTE how many nights of melatonin sleep production cycles I've missed? Now, let's combine that with the risk rate of 95% which was quoted to me 5 years ago from my genetic doctor.... um..... nice odds.