I agree completely, Julie. I don't understand why singular differences cause people to disassociate from others completely. Personally, I like having friends that I disagree with. It keeps me on my toes. But I'm also one of those people who loves to reevaluate my beliefs constantly.

My theory as to why it happens online? I think the internet opens people up to relationships with far too many people for them to be really comfortable with. Some people like me, withdraw from EVERYONE for a breather ever once in awhile and then shuffle the aquaintences back into a pile once they've regained their sense of self in the crush of personalities. Others look for things that will define the relationship boundaries for them. Disagree on this issue with me? OFF THE LIST!!!

In real life? I don't know. Its probably the same sort of thing, I notice the extroverts amongst my friends are more...willing to let things slide .... than the introverts.

I agree with Sarah- I like being around people who disagree with me. It challenges me to reevaluate where I stand on issues. I truly believe in the saying, “Don’t believe everything you think!” So……having others question your thoughts, ideas or actions helps to refine exactly WHY you think something. Helps you to judge whether you have a valid reason for believing something, or if a change is in order. It is a wake up call. As long as you can see the disagreement as a learning lesson and not get defensive. And it works so much better if both parties care about one another- that way the disagreement can provide a learning experience for both involved. I feel that open, honest and respectful disagreements are a great learning tool. I have seen the example you mentioned, Julie- Someone really seems to like someone else, but then suddenly they do X and poof! The relationship sours. I have had it happen to me (usually with other parents who are raising their children in a more mainstream way). I think it has to do with the X action touching a nerve with the other person – touching a nerve in a very deep place. If this happens to me now, I take a long look at it. WHY would this other person’s actions be causing such an emotional reaction in ME?? Again, I think if more people were open to learning from one another, rather than feeling deep emotion and running from it, getting defensive b/c of it, or becoming confused by it, a lot more relationships would survive (and a lot more growth would take place!).

I think that when you come to an online situation, you can't rely on body language or tone, and being a new person into a kettle of fish (inititially) you start looking for common ground. You aregr agree with person X - ok,, she is my friend. You agree with person Y and find a lot in comon - you agree even more. Then you start to form friendships and one day, whammo - thet they surprise you with something you're in completel complete disagr disagreement. Are they still your frined? how could you have felt close tohtem and identified with them when you're so different?

I learned a lot about forming friendships on the PP CD board. So many posters posters - I'd completely identify with them on one debate and we were on oposite fences on the next dbate. It allowed me (that board) to realize that I could learn from everyone - even those that I didn't agree with - and that some people that you thought you'd NEVER have ANYUTHING in common with were very close and in complete agreement on one particular issue - maybe something very close to your heart.

IRL? I don't know. I don't think I've thrown away a relationship due to one difference (but I am VERY SLOW to make a relationship IRL). Can't see mey comments, so enjoy the typos!