Like A Rollercoaster
My life is up and down and the pivotal turn in the track is the amount of sleep I get the night before. Last night I ended up so desperate, so tired, that I cried next to The Daughter's bed. After an hour of non-stop, comfort sucking --- that's that really annoying type of suck that sorta tickles but really grates on your nipple and after 30 minutes of that you want to launch yourself to the moon -- I finally told her that I couldn't nurse her anymore that we'd have to find a way to get her to sleep without that type of nursing. I tried to get her to latch on all the way but she'd not do it. I picked her up, I set her down, I cried, I begged, I pleaded and, finally, I set her down, plopped myself down and just cried. Lest you think this was some monumental occasion that my husband would take notice of and think "Gee, maybe some moral support is in order," he stayed downstairs "working" while The Daughter and I cried together. Once I got my frustration out and all over my face, I picked her up and just walked with her until she fell asleep (this is what The Husband does when I go to yoga so I know it must work for her). Of course, she didn't fall asleep until like 9:30 or 10 but, whatever, my boobs were spared the other parts of me crawling out of my skin.
All in all, last night was a steller night... we nursed at 11:30 and she slept til 4. That's as good as it gets right there. I just don't understand why it can't happen frequently instead of once in a full moon.
Sleep the elusive key to my existence.
....
In other news, I made some money this week (*wink* to Kyle) and I decided that most of it is going in the bank for The Son's first year of tuition should we need it but I was determined to spend a few dollars on myself. Nordstrom is having their yearly anniversary sale and I found a couple of low-cut shirts and bought a nice molded-cup bra -- I figure, if I got these boobs for now and they keep me up all night, at least I'll try to enjoy them during the day instead of covering them up. Then my neighbor had a jewelry party (she makes her own jewelry) and The Daughter & I got little bracelets. You should have seen her with this bracelet...she was so proud. I tell you, I didn't really buy the whole genetic/nature girl thing...but this child loves clothes, brushes, hair pieces, jewelry... and I'm no girly-girl so she didn't get it from me!
A little consumerism to lift my spirits... I never said I was perfect.
Comments
That is TOO cute about the bracelet! And I am trying to forget that you said Nordstrom's is having a sale. ;-)
I am so hesitant to say this out loud lest I ruin it all, but in the past 8 evenings, Colin has slept from the time I put him to bed (8:30pm-ish) until I went to bed around 11:30pm. !!!!!!!! He has done that once or twice a month (if I'm lucky) but NEVER 8 days in a row. It's ~heaven~ though. A whole uninterrupted evening to myself! :-D
I swear I make myself insane trying to see what pattern is to his sleep. When he sleeps well I wash and reuse those jammies JUST in case it was that, or try to repeat the amount of excercise he had that day or what he ate for dinner. LOL There MUST be rhyme or reason to it, dangit!
Glad you got some sleep last night!
Posted by: Debra | July 24, 2002 4:06 PM
YES Debra, I do this too... did we have the fan on? High or low? Was she in shorts or pants for jammies? Was it 8:25 or 8:32? Did she have something to drink before or an hour before? What time was she up from her nap? Ya know... it doesn't seem to make any difference but I still go crazy trying to find some pattern.
Posted by: Julie | July 24, 2002 4:13 PM
Julie...I'm sorry things have been so rough for you lately with sleep stuff. Maybe this is a silly question, but has she cut her one year molars yet? I'm thinking she's a couple of months older than Ben. This past week, he's been up through the night a lot, doing a lot of tossing and turning and nursing more frequently than he does during the day. Yesterday, when I felt inside his mouth, the tip of one of the molars had cut and today, a "fang" came through. Maybe that's simplistic, but could it be that? I hope things get better for you...
Kerry
Posted by: Reese | July 24, 2002 4:35 PM
Kerry, I'd love to think it was teething but since she's been like this since birth, I dare to think not. She has all of her teeth through now though anyway.
Posted by: Julie | July 24, 2002 5:04 PM
(((((Julie)))) I know the sleep thing has been *so* hard for *so* long - I really hope and pray she's going to gradually get better.
And I totally know what you mean about the gender thing - I'd always seen the "boy" nature of things clearly, but I hadn't realised quite how big the difference would be until Miss Rose arrived. She is *such* a girly girl - clothes, hair, the right stockings, what hat to wear or necklace?? I do like nice clothes, but I'm sitting here typing in a pair of old cords stained with bleach, a flannel shirt and a hand-me-down jumper from my brother, so it's not like my life is ruled by clothes either ;-)
Posted by: genj | July 24, 2002 7:16 PM
Oh...I'm so sorry. I hope that things get better for you!
Posted by: Reese | July 25, 2002 6:18 AM
Well see now, there ya go. I jinxed myself! LOL He was up 3 times in the evening last night and I think I pretty much nursed him nonstop last night. Will I never learn! :-P
Posted by: Debra | July 25, 2002 6:52 PM
I am a firm believer than one should always make little splurges on themselves :)
YOU GO GIRL!
Posted by: felicia | July 25, 2002 7:51 PM