More Days Like Today
Today I got to feel what it is like to have help throughout my whole day. The Husband was not busy at work today and he helped me with the kids all day. I went to the grocery store alone, I worked in the afternoon for an hour, The Son was entertained while I put The Daughter down for a nap, I got to make dinner without picking up a needy toddler 50 times. Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to work because this is what life would be like all the time. I'm so much more relaxed today.
The thought for today is: I think I'm incapable of having friends. Yep, I do. I think I manifest something either intentionally or unintentionally but I'm not sure what it is. I do this online and in real life. My intentions are so good but I think something goes haywire in the communication. I think part of the problem is that I am very sensitive and I often think I see, hear or feel a vibe that perhaps I'm misinterpreting but it feels like it is so. Maybe it is self-destructive behaviour on my part. I'm not sure but it definitely warrants further investigation.
Comments
{{{Julie}}}
I know what it's like to feel that you are trying to do the right thing, but it seems to be received in a completely different manner. FWIW, I've so enjoyed getting to know you, and consider you a very good online friend, limited as our interactions have been.
Posted by: Tanya | June 18, 2002 9:05 AM
I have exactly the same problem online and over the phone, but real smelling, seeing the person's body language, touching friendships are totally different...I'm an empathic introvert and I think electronic media screws me up.
Posted by: kerr | June 18, 2002 9:15 AM
{{{Julie}}} I understand, I think. I have often wondered what is wrong with me that I have lived here for 9 yrs now and the only local friend I have *at all* is someone whom I met through AMU.
In 5 years I see myself finally back in San Diego, and hopefully having lunch with you. :-)
Posted by: Debra | June 18, 2002 10:18 AM
Julie - I consider you my friend. I have never thought that we miscommunicated online or via e-mail. I have never thought you had ill-intenet in your dealings with anyone. I think it is hard to develop new friendships. My very good friends are all from when I was growing up or in college. I am fortunate to still live close to some of those people. Others I keep in touch with via e-mail or phone.
Posted by: 3Queens | June 18, 2002 10:44 AM
Thanks guys... It is wierd because I can't pinpoint what it is I'm feeling but I definitely just feel sorta "on the fringe," like something is going on but I don't know what.
And, Debra, I can't wait to be having lunch! That would be awesome!
Posted by: Julie | June 18, 2002 1:43 PM