compliments
When you run into an exceptional child do you compliment the parents? I feel conflicted about this. Today at the pool there was a boy about 7 or 8, he approached me and began a conversation about the water slides. At the end of the ride he waited for me, extended his hand and introduced himself, showed me where his dad was sitting. He was a polite, respectful and talkative child. Very different from what I normally see - children who ignore adults, don't engage adults unless they have to and generally are self-absorbed. When we were leaving I approached the father and told him how delightful his son was. I thought about it after... should I have made a big deal about it? I should consider that normal behaviour and yet it made an impact on me because it wasn't normal behaviour.
Comments
I think you should complement the father. He may not be responsible. But everyone likes to be praised - It rewards the boy for being kind and considerate, and it gives the parent a lift. We (as a society) are so quick to blame parents for everything wrong with a kid - it is wonderful to catch someone doing something *right* for a change.
Love the new place!
Marka
Posted by: Marka | June 17, 2002 4:52 AM
I would say something simple -- ideally, if the child was near his parents at the time, I would say, "take care, XX It was a pleasure talking with you today" and then turn to his parent and say, "you have a delightful son" or something like that. I think a little positive validation can go a long way in this world, in which we often only hear complaints and negative stuff about kids, kwim?
Posted by: Lucia | June 17, 2002 4:25 PM
I agree. The compliments are a wonderful thing, and will probably encourage whatever positive interaction is happening between child and parent.
Posted by: Tanya | June 18, 2002 9:08 AM