Okay, so, things seem to be getting better! The Daughter went to bed last night at 8pm, woke at 10:20 and I nursed her. The next time she woke up was 1:15, picked her up, she went back to sleep in just a few minutes. The next glance at the clock was 4:44. For some reason I think she woke up between those two times but I don't remember so perhaps I'm dreaming it which wouldn't be too much a surprise. She woke again sometime after the light was coming through the shutters and I nursed her back to sleep... and she would have stayed asleep if her big brother hadn't burst into the room at 7am.

How encouraged I am. There have been no tears with this method. Granted, I'm not able to just lay back down and go to sleep, I have to sit up for a short bit before I can lay down but I figure once she's not waking up every hour consistently, I can get her to lay down easier. So far I've been able to parent better, communicate better and generally feel like life is worth living again.

Half of me thinks I shouldn't BLOG about it...afraid of the jinx. The other half thinks this is a really good outlet to journal it in. Plus I'm keeping copies of all my posts for my kids to see their mom raw later in life. I hope The Daughter gleans from my posts just how sensitive I've been and how dedicated to finding a way to do this that works for us all.

On a site note: Fish last night was amazing. Lucia got me on a swimsuit hunt and I'm heavily depressed about it.