When I first heard about MoonMammas I was a little shocked. Some of the very things that I hated about AMU! seemed to be instilled in the user agreement (which, to be fair, I have not read all the way through or even in it's completed stage). One of the things that I love and respect at MS is that we have a simple policy "No Rage." We don't have to outline this or have a clear set of rules. We have always been able, as a group of women, come together to decide just where we needed to draw the line. This is what I do with my friends in real life and it is how I want to be treated in my online life. Does this mean that I won't post at MM? I don't know. You see, for me, their user agreement doesn't really matter. I will never post to someone with rage. I will never belittle someone (at least not intentionally) and I have no need to attack anyone else. So I don't care what their user agreement says because the way I look at it, it doesn't apply to me or affect me. I don't necessarily agree with it. I wouldn't do it. Does that mean that I reflect those beliefs because I might post there sometimes? Does it mean that I agree with or like everyone that also posts there? Well, just because I post on someone's blog doesn't mean I agree with their viewpoints on everything and just because I might post at AlterNet's boards doesn't mean I agree with everything on that website either or like all the people there. This is not the real world. This is a virtual creation. We are not tied to it. We do not have to own it. We do not have to read it. I don't agree with everything CBS broadcasts but that doesn't stop me from watching Survivor.

There is a part of me, the part I'm fighting to control, that sees nothing but the karma in this. The same stuff was said about MS as MM and I see the people at MM trying to get their intention clarified. I see the same things being read between the lines, the same drama, the same cattiness about it. It makes me sad.

I see some of the same behavious happening that I saw at AMU! before I left only now those behaviours are happening in public rather than behind closed doors. I think it is the same thing to tear someone down in your own space or in space that belongs to someone else. I just don't find the need for it and I certainly can't find it within my own heart and within my own spirituality to do that to another human. I'm not perfect though. I sometimes am catty. I sometimes say things I wish I hadn't. I sometimes get wrapped up in myself and my ego and I sometimes get angry at another person and go off.... but I aspire to always recognize this and to always apologize for my actions and to always attempt to be a bigger person than to have this need to make myself feel superior. I truly believe that we ridicule another person when we need to support our egos.

This morning I felt that same bad energy in my body. My initial reaction was to run. Unplug myself and, most especially, leave all online communities. I realize that is a heated reaction. I have many friends at MS that I care about. I'm not willing to give that up. I have taken on and intend to continue maintaining only an occasional presence at other online communities. I want no part of the bullshit and will stay away as long as it continues.