Today at playgroup was really strange for me. The Son is one of the oldest kids in our playgroup. His friends M & I were there today. M's mother was not. M & her family co-live with another family from playgroup and that mom brought M along with her and her son. Well, the entire morning that mom, T, was parenting The Son along with M. If T didn't want M in a certain place she'd say "The Son & M, come over here." Now, most of the time, I'm okay with anyone in our playgroup making requests of my child but, frankly, I began to think she was stepping over the boundary. Mostly because I was right there and she never asked me my opinion. I's mother at one point leaned over and said "They are a little far away, what do you think?" and we agreed to call them back but she didn't just call out "I & The Son, come back over here," ya know. By the end of the morning, T was asking The Son to move from places that I didn't feel the same about. I know she was doing this because she wanted M to listen to her and she felt that they both should be doing the same thing but I don't agree with this. Just like some people give their children real cheese, I don't say "M & The Son don't eat that cheese." I say, "The Son, that cheese is made from a cow and we don't eat that type of cheese." It seems like a shortcut to parenting to ask my child to do what you want your child to do, KWIM? It really sorta irritated me that the assumption was made that I would agree and also that they could continually tell my child what to do.

Now you are probably wondering why I didn't say anything. I am too. I have been feeling really odd in my circle of real life friends lately. After the big "shit" happened back a few months ago, I've just felt really constricted in communicating. There seems to be stuff going on behind the scenes that I'm unsure about. I'm uneasy and I chose not to make waves today instead of being open and honest. The last time I was open and honest, the "shit" happened.

Next week The Son & The Daughter start a new swim schedule and will be swimming Friday mornings... I think I may take that opportunity to pull back from playgroups for awhile.

On the other hand, I've worked so hard to meet like-minded mamas in my real life and I'm sad that it seems to be on the fray. I wonder if I could meet some other like-minded mamas. I wonder if anymore exist here... and how would I find them? The saddest thing is that the one friend I have who really wants the same sort of real life support/friendship that I do lives too far away to really have it.