((((Julie))) - I admire your openness and honesty and I have learned so much about judgement, etc. from you (and keep trying to incorporate those same principles in my life, b/ I agree with you). Just don't judge *yourself* too harshly in the process of learning to walk this road - you are allowed to make mistakes! (and every mistake is a learning opportunity and a chance to grow).

OT - I'll look for you on icq later - I have an idea that I want to share with you!

Thanks, Lucia. I don't really think I'm judging myself but to work through the issue of being judgmental, I have to acknowledge it :) That's all I'm doing, acknowledging it and letting it pass :)

oh i like that - "acknowledging it and letting it pass" - I tend to be so critical of myself when I make a mistake, and I really need to learn to let go and forgive myself once I've acknowledged/processed/learned from it.

{{{Julie}}} For over a year now I have read many of your posts re: judgement. I struggle with this. But I know how it feels to BE judged, and I don't like it very much. I need to remember this more when I am on the other side and am passing judgement. Thanks for giving me food for thought.

Debra, isn't that what it comes down to in many ways? Do unto others... That scripture oftentimes seems so simplistic to me but I'm finding that it really does have meaning in many situations. I'm not sure how judgment came to be one of my largest obstacles. In my meditations I come up with the theory that I am <b>deeply</b> critical of myself and therefore criticize others to boost my own self-esteem and self-worth. I almost never let myself slide on any semantic or issue which could be forgotten in the grand scheme of things so I can let others? I truly believe that when I can let go of judgment, all judgment (and that doesn't mean what I believe to be right) that I will also find the strength to stop judging myself and find inner peace.

Btw that should have been so how can I let others :) Also, I wonder what the correct spelling of judgment is: judgment or judgement. Off to find the online dictionary :)

YES. EXACTLY! (And I think it's judgEment ;-)

Do Unto Others..... is really the mantra I need to live my life by. I need to have it tattooed on my forehead. LOL

You're also onto something there re: "I am deeply critical of myself and therefore criticize others to boost my own self-esteem and self-worth."

That is me TO A TEE. I am really, really struggling with my self esteem and I am terribly hard on myself. Perhaps my criticizing others is my pathetic attmept to boost myself. Pretty sad if that is true, eh?

But I really do believe that people who, in general, are highly judgemental of others, or always trying to find fault in others (through perceived addictions or personal problems) are really just people with very low self esteems.

{sigh} One of these days when I can leave my nursling for a bit longer period of time I must get back into therapy. :-(

{{Debra}} I totally agree (oh and it turns out both <a href="http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=judgment">spellings</a> are correct)...

I don't know if you are interested but I have found over the past few years when therapy just wasn't an option for me that learning to sit really helped me to find these insights into my personality and bring them into the forefront of my mind. There are different types of meditation but I found that I first really needed to learn zazen (basically you count your breaths in then out 1-10 the start over at 10...each time you find you have started thinking of something, you bring your mind back to counting and your breath). Once I mastered that, I could then to a mantra meditation and used a mantra specific to what I was finding "Judgment makes me feel ____" or whatever. For me, meditation has done more for me than therapy ever did. Then again, I have a really difficult time finding a therapist that I don't think is crap.

Oh and I should add that I often try and meditate now when I'm nursing Seren to sleep ... you can even concentrate on the pull and flex of your nipple to learn to focus your mind... I sometimes end up feeling irritated when I put so much focus on the feeling though.

That should be that the feeling is irritating to my nipples not that I'm personally irritated.

{{{Julie}}} That was helpful, thank you. You know, I think part of my problem (in general) is that I am not feeling ANY spiritual base at ALL in my life. And since I grew so very fundamentalist Christian, it has left a sort of void. I wonder if this is adding to my depression, or making it more difficult to rise above it. Hmmmm, maybe I'll start a thread on this at YAAPS. Especially since i am trapped under a sleeping/nursing baby and have no motivation to do laundry, anyway. :-D

Thanks for the great conversation. I have a lot of respect for you Julie.

As I do for you... my sleeping nursling just got up and I have to get some work out :) but I wanted to add that I have really flailed in this past year without the ability to practice my spirituality as it works for me (yoga, meditation, and a brain that is coherent enough to be mindful during the day). In the past 3 weeks I have started yoga, meditating and, while I'm no more brain awake than before, doing the first two is really helping me to feel spiritual and alive again and it really helps me to overcome the depressive states that I get into.

Wow Julie what a wonderful post :o*

Namaste

Thanks for sharing such an interesting discussion.

The US spelling is judgment. The British spelling is judgement. Can you believe I remember this because I missed it in a spelling bee in sixth grade?