A trip to the pediatrician confirmed my suspicions and brought on new questions. The pediatrician informed me that the left ear had burst, the right ear was close. I could no longer use garlic-mullein oil due to the rupture and preforation. Antibiotics were needed and the rupture had caused an outer ear infection so tropical drops were necessary. I drove home in tears. Not only did it appear my baby needed antibiotics but what a horrible mother I am that I had such horrible thoughts last night and my poor baby was in pain, needed me, needed comfort and I didn't know.

With more clarity I sat down and nursed The Daughter for a 3 hour nap in front of the computer. I researched MedScape and came up with some interesting statistics. As I replayed my pediatrician visit I realized that the on-call doctor didn't give me the time of day, didn't really listen to me even if outwardly it appeared he did... so I took The Daughter into our other pediatrician the one less cool with the non-vax thing but totally conservative with antibiotics.

So picture this: I'm in the exam room, The Daughter is half dressed (we weighed her 21 pounds, 31 inches!), nursing, we're singing some Waldorf circle song... in walks the "intern" and asks if he can do an examination before my doctor gets there. "Okay," I say, "Sure." I proceed to explain the events of the past few days and that morning. I launch into my research. I sound incredulous that the other pediatrician had prescribed a 5 day course of antibiotics when the CDC's own website states that the shortened course of antibiotics should only be used in children over the age of 2. I tell him that I surely knew something was amiss when my elimination communication daughter hasn't pooped in her potty for *gasp* 3 days! He examines her and states the obvious and then tells me that, in his opinion, were it his child (did he have any children...I should have asked), he'd treat. I respond that we would wait for my doctor...

Goddess-love my doctor. He walks into the room and says "Well, obviously I don't need to do an examination... Under the circumstances I think not doing antibiotics is not unreasonable." "Huh?" I say, "I'm sleep deprived. Can you say that a little more clearly?" Hooray, he agrees with the research, I don't need to treat with antibiotics -- only watch for signs of complications such as a fever, reddening behind the ear, ears leaning forward... Before I leave, however, he asks the dreaded question, "So, while you are here, have you given any more though to when or if you'll vaccinate The Daughter?" My mind reels as I determine if he is doing this for the interns sake ("See this is what dealing with those alternative parents is like") or if he's genuinely concerned *again* about my decisions. Not that he's ever argued with me, he likes to present his facts and I present mine and we go our separate ways. He points me to a CDC bulletin that research shows autism is *not* linked to the MMR vaccine. So parents, it's totally *SAFE* to give your child the required vaccines. I say "Did you notice the date on that... it's quite old!" I hope the intern got a great lesson in what an informed, respectful parent is like and how to treat them.

... but as I drove home I thought... isn't it ironic? Ironic that I feel like the odd parent for questioning, waiting and being conservative with drugs. Ironic that I have to pound the pavement to find someone that will listen to me, respect me and be conservative with me. That most parents would sit in the first pediatrician's office and blindly say "Sure, I'll give my kid these drugs for 5 days." with no questions is amazing to me.